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Posts Tagged ‘koch brothers’

It’s almost News Year’s Eve.

Where did that fucking year go!

And with this, a new year.

Thank God!

This past year was a fucking nightmare.

And every new year offers us a new opportunity.

An opportunity for self reflection.

An opportunity to examine the events of the past year and think of ways we can improve our lives.

So we sit down and we make a list.

And we call this list our New Year’s Resolutions.

As a service to my readers, I have compiled a number of possible New Year’s Resolutions that you might find helpful in making your list this New Year.

So here we go:

Stop smoking.

Stop drinking.

Stop eating enough for two or three people.

Be kind to others.

Stop farting at the dinner table,

breakfast is still OK.

Change your underwear at least once a month.

Quit loading your shotgun in the baby’s room.

Exercise more than…  start exercising.

Brush your tooth.

Quit saying “I dunno.”

Stop swinging the cat by the tail – it stopped being funny about a month ago.

Trim your nose hairs.

Quit talking on your cell phone while driving.

Quit texting, period.

Quit Twitter.

Boycott CNN and Fox.

Try to aim better when pissing.

Quit trying to shit standing up.

Spend more (some) time with your kids.

Read more.

Learn how to read.

Worry less.

Take more walks.

Quit feeling guilty.

Stop picking your nose while driving.

Quit bowling.

Eat more fish.

Buy Girl Scout Cookies whenever possible.

Mow your lawn more than twice a year.

Take down your fucking Christmas lights right after New Years.

Think about others occasionally, you self-centered prick.

Quit chewing tobacco.

Be more grateful.

Save money.

Stop smacking your gum.

Shave your back.

Return those lawn tools your borrowed three years ago.

Continue boycotting Walmart.

Quit blaming everyone else.

Worry less.

Stop eating Fast Food.

Let your dogs inside when it’s raining.

Quit pissing in the shower.

Call your Mother.

Take a night class.

Try calming the fuck down.

Be kind to small animals.

Take your head out of your ass.

Thank your wife for dinner occasionally.

Quit saying Seinfeld was the greatest show ever – we all know this.

Stop quoting movies.

Start quoting Ginsberg or Burroughs.

Listen more.

Worry less.

Quit listening to the “voices.”

Loose that mohawk.

Stop piercing your body.

Offer to help with the dishes.

Pick up the dog shit more than once a month.

Quit stealing your neighbor’s newspaper.

Quit “farming” on Facebook.

Quit Facebook.

Go out to dinner more often.

Quit calling strangers “Buddy, Boss or Dude.”

Water your plants.

Drink more water.

Loose 200 pounds.

Stop trying to control every fucking thing.

Quit being such an asshole.

Mind your own fucking business.

Play more.

Quit showing off your iPhone or your Droid. We don’t care anymore.

Take that fucking ear piece off when you’re not driving.

Quit spitting.

Worry less.

Take your bi-polar medication, please.

Stop blaming everything on your parents.

Order something new on the menu.

Quit talking shit behind people’s back.

Stand calmly in lines.

Treat your staff with dignity.

Quit lying!

Go to college.

Don’t drink milk after the expiration date.

Appreciate what you have.

Ride bicycles.

Quit saying “fuck” in every sentence.

Look at the sky more often.

Hold the door open for senior citizens, people in wheel chairs, and beautiful women with big tits.

Worry less.

Have a Happy New Year.

© 2012 OMW

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Why would anyone, in their right mind, run for public office?

Is it Power,

prestige,

impotence,

control,

blow jobs,

suppression,

pay-offs,

ego,

illicit affairs,

all of the above?

And why do only uncaring, self-serving assholes run for office?

And how or why do they win?

What I really don’t or can’t understand,

is why a poor black man from Mississippi,

will cast his vote for a rich motherfucker from Texas.

Or a poor Mexican family that supports Donald Trump.

And let’s not forget the under–educated white man that can’t wait to vote against one of the greatest presidents in modern history,

just because he’s black.

Don’t the people in this stupid country think first before they cast their ballot?

Their voting record speaks for its self: Richard “I am not a crook” Nixon, Ronald “trickle down” Reagan, George “What the fuck” Bush, Dick” I shot my friend in the face” Cheney, John “I can’t lift my arms” McCain, Sarah “The cheerleader of ignorance” Palin, and currently Mitt “Fuck the poor” Romney.

These people aren’t (weren’t) public servants.

They are (were) self-serving assholes.

Power mongers.

Puppets.

Assholes.

Put into office by special interest groups,

to pass legislation that only serves corporate wealth,

not the American people.

Not assholes like you or me.

But corporate assholes like Monsanto, Exxon, and the Koch brothers.

They couldn’t care less about you,

“Mr. Joe Public,”

or the impoverished,

or the sick,

or the unemployed,

or the homeless,

or the uneducated,

or the single mother,

or the enlisted man or women,

or the gays,

or the evicted,

or the mentally ill,

or the senior citizens,

or the farm workers,

or the starving,

or the legal immigrants,

or the blue collar worker,

or the middle class,

or the environment.

They don’t care about anyone or anything,

but themselves,

and their rich fucking cronies.

So who the fuck is running this country?

Certainly not the voters.

We just stand in line for hours at the polls,

in the pouring rain or falling snow,

and blindly elect these assholes we’ve been told to vote for,

and limp home to our life of “not.”

What a democracy!

Meanwhile, the “haves” ride off in their limousines or fly off in their private jets (which, by the way, were paid for by you the voter),

to their opulent, lavish mansions,

and slam their door in the faces of the American people. (The same pathetic people that just voted them into office).

And then they continue, once again, their senseless, heartless, and ruthless fucking of the American people.

If only the people of this insipid country,

would finally wake up from their collective American nightmare,

and realize that a mere one percent of the people in this country,

control the majority of the wealth.

Maybe then, possibly, but doubtfully, they’ll realize who’s really in charge.

It’s certainly not the remaining 99%.

They never were,

and they never will be.

This country is run by the corporations,

by Wall Street,

and by the absurdly rich.

Not the American people.

Not you and me.

And it’s our own fault.

The American people are so fucking stupid,

and have been so throughly brained washed,

that they continue to elect politicians that only represent the rich,

the corporations,

the special interest groups,

the 1%.

These are the same politicians that send our children off to fight needless and unjust wars,

that support the outsourcing of American jobs to foreign countries,

that defend the bankers that have unfairly foreclosed on our homes,

and proudly vote against social programs that would help every American,

like universal healthcare.

Our elections are bought and paid for,

by the same assholes that control all the wealth.

The “One Per-centers.”

And if that isn’t bad enough, our fucking elections aren’t even honest.

George W. didn’t win the election in the year 2000.

He was anointed the presidency by a Supreme Court ruling.

I think it’s funny, no tragic, that the United States claims to be the greatest Democracy in the history of the world,

yet we can’t even hold a fair or accurate election.

The candidate with the most power and money wins,

not the most votes.

And the people of our once great nation loose.

Again.

But this is another election year,

another opportunity to elect dignified candidates,

who will actually defend the rights of the American people,

and who will represent all Americans, not just the chosen few.

If they count the ballots accurately.

Vote responsibly.

© OMW 2012

(Originally posted in February of this year).

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